Dating at 50+
Your Time to Shine
There are so many wonderful things about dating again when you’re older. You have a lot more to offer, you are worldlier and probably know what you’re looking for. Those who haven’t been single for quite some time can easily fall into dating no-no’s, which can actually prevent them from meeting the kind of people they’re looking for. Let’s increase your opportunities by eliminating the dating pitfalls and paving the way to your dating success. Here are some Do’s and Dont’s to keep in mind:
DO
Be adaptable; after a break-up or divorce you should be flexible when you start dating again. Be spontaneous with the new people in your life, demonstrate that you are at ease and enjoying this new beginning.
Dress presentably. Smell nice. Look and feel your best. Update your wardrobe if needed, keeping style and sophistication in mind. No Hawaiian shirts. No over-sized clothes. Go easy on the hair products and keep skin and makeup soft and fresh. There’s nothing sexier to your date than you at your natural best.
Keep conversation smart, stick to current and light-hearted topics such as hobbies and interests, accomplishments, travels and adventures, fun plans you’re looking forward to.
Show interest and be interesting; discuss things you care about in the world and ask your date what their perspective is on the topic. Curiosity demonstrates intelligence, evokes intrigue, and provides insight into what’s important to each of you on a larger scale.
Know your selling points; if it’s not career, and it can’t always be, promote yourself in other creative ways. If you’re retired and asked how you spend your time, avoid explaining yourself and come up with something you’re good at. For example, it may be community services or charitable work and contributions, and/or any other accomplishments, past and present.
Be patient with yourself and with dating in general. Not every person you date has to be “the one.” You’re dating at a time in your life where you can slow down and ensure that you’re in a relationship for the right reasons. This is a special time full of hope and excitement for the future. Stay positive, persevere and have fun with it!
DON’T
Talk about exes – period. It’s a danger zone no matter how you think you’re approaching it. What happened in your marriage or past relationships, stays there. If your date intentionally brings it up, then answer the question briefly with a positive attitude, and gently move off the topic.
Talk about sensitive topics and/or what you’ve overcome personally in life. Aim to reflect yourself in present-day form. A first date is not the time or place to take your date through an emotional journey. If you hit it off, you’ll have plenty of time to dig into the archives in the future.
Talk about personal and/or health-related issues. That’s private, and there’s no reason for your date to know about it.
Talk about your beauty regimen or effort to get ready for the date. All your date needs to know is what they see – a beautiful, seasoned and polished finished product.
Explain yourself or apologize for anything; communicate with confidence and comfort in your own skin. Leave the past and any negative feelings at the door.
Appear necessitous or disadvantaged; after ending a long-term marriage or relationship, you’re probably used to being with someone all the time. It’s an adjustment to be on your own. You’re single now and it’s your choice to do what you want to do. Even when you may have someone new in your life, maintain your sense of personal balance; still stand on your own two feet and try doing things independently. Only a codependent person wants to be with another inter-reliant person.